The Great Candy Bar Dump of the 1980’s

I wonder if my friends from Lynch remember a time when all the students and teachers were assembled in the gym, where, like always, we sat on the floor and looked dumbfoundedly up at the adult staffers as they talked.

I think it was after Mrs. Robinson retired and Mr. Whitlock replaced her as principal. It might have been Whitlock’s first year as principal.

I don’t know what the assembly was about. I couldn’t really hear anything they were saying. But I remember when it was over, students were handed black garbage bags that were full of candy bars.

I did not understand that we were supposed to sell these candy bars. I thought God had tipped his hat in our direction and these candy bars were ours to happily stuff our faces with.

Now that I think about it, that whole thing was poorly executed. We were kids. I was probably seven or eight at the time, and someone had just handed me a garbage bag full of candy bars. I can’t be the only one who didn’t understand what we were supposed to do with these candy bars.

Then we were trudging across the school, awkwardly hauling these massive bags. The bags were actually kind of heavy. I don’t know how many bars were in my bag, but I think it was at least a hundred. Maybe more.

We carried these bags onto the buses to take home, where we were expected to sell to our neighbors. A lot of us lived in the same subdivisions. Meaning individual neighbors could be approached multiple times by different kids.

I didn’t see anyone doing the door-to-door thing, so I don’t know how it played out. I remember my dad was mad about me eating the candy bars, because he had to pay for them. I ate a few.

My dad took them away. I was under the impression that he had sold them to guys at work. But now, I think he probably just gave them back to the school. He did give me one bar that he bought out of the rest.

Novel 6
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Story 42
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