I posted this in response to a couple guys on a discussion forum I’ve been active on. I half expect the forum moderators will have a word with me about it at some point, but right now I don’t care. I want to post it here as well, because I see this kind of behavior in a lot of people.
“That insensitive, stupid asshole performance you both put on, it’s just an act and you know it. But, you’ll never let it drop, not online and not in person, because you fear that if you let the bullshit stereotype act drop people will see that you’re not much different than a couple of sissy little girls. I don’t care how hard you were brought up, what happened in your lives or if you rode with Hells Angels, it’s all bullshit. You treat people like shit to make yourselves feel superior. You’re both a couple of scared, insecure little men who are trying to hide who you really are and I don’t have the slightest respect for either one of you.”
I announced on Facebook some weeks ago that pretty soon I was going to tell you all about the time a horse tried to eat my finger. A bunch of you seemed to want to hear that story. I think it’s time I got the story down for you.
I was probably eight at the time. I’m pretty sure I was older than seven, but not quite nine, which would mean I was eight. My dad, Fred and I were at Uncle Lynn’s house. I’m not sure if L. Y. N. N. is how his name is spelt, so someone correct me if they know for sure.
Uncle Lynn had a horse. A big quarter horse. I think the horse was black or brown. For some reason I’d always had it in my head that the horse’s name was Mr. Ed, though that probably wasn’t it. Around that time, I was regularly watching the old TV show “Mr. Ed” and I probably just decided that was this horse’s name. But for the sake of this blog entry, I’ll call the horse Mr. Ed.
My cousins Joel and Jason and their dad were also there. We used to always see Joel and Jason when visiting Uncle Lynn’s. Joel and me were feeding Mr. Ed apples. Joel gave him one, no problem.
Though I tried to keep my hand flat when holding the apple for Mr. Ed, I guess I curled my fingers a little bit. Mr. Ed took the apple and the fourth finger of my left hand. That was one of the most painful things I have ever felt.
Mr. Ed was just chewing away on my finger like it was a carrot. Thank God Joel’s dad was right there. He grabbed Mr. Ed’s jaws and pried them open with what had to be super human strength. The chewed up apple fell out and my finger was free.
The next thing I knew, my dad was rushing me into the house and into the bathroom. At one point, Uncle Lynn said something about how the bite went all the way to the bone. I thought I was seeing the bone while my dad cleaned the finger, but I’m not positive. I’m also not sure it’s realistic that I could have been seeing the bone. There’s not even a scar on the finger, so probably not.
They bandaged my finger, and then I was back outside. I remember talking to Fred about the incident while we stood at the pasture fence looking at Mr. Ed. I still liked Mr. Ed, but I wasn’t going to give him anymore apples.
Years later, when we had horses of our own, I never let any of our horses eat an apple out of my hand. I guess that’s how you’re supposed to feed a horse an apple, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d just drop the apple on the ground and the horse could pick it up.
The reason I’d been thinking about that incident is the finger Mr. Ed tried to eat has been giving me trouble in the last several months. Every since that incident, I would have a little problem with the finger, but not very noticeable. When I’d wake up in the morning and open my hand, that finger would be stuck. I’d have to use a little extra force to get it all the way up, and then I’d just have to flex my hand a few times and it’d be fine for the rest of the day.
I’m not sure when exactly this started,, but sometime within the last several months, when I’d wake up in the morning it would be harder than it used to be to get the finger all the way up. And all day, any time I close my hand and then open it, the finger will lock up and I’ll have to use a little extra force to get it all the way out.
For example, if I grab a glass, pick it up, have a drink and then set the glass back down. When I try to let go of the glass, my finger can still be hooked on it until I use that little extra force.
So, I think it’s getting worse as I approach old age. I’ll probably see my doctor about it at some point, but I doubt any medical professional will be able to do anything short of chopping the finger off so it won’t keep getting hooked on things.
I imagine an x-ray would show a deep ravine in the finger bone near where it meets the hand. I don’t see how something like that can be repaired thirty years after it had already healed improperly.
But, we’ll see.
I keep thinking about that episode of the Sopranos where Tony and Carmela are insulted by their next door neighbors. Later, Tony is filling a box with sand and Carmela asks what he’s doing. Tony explains that he’s fucking with the neighbors. Carmela says she wants in on it.
Tony takes the box over and frightens the neighbor into “holding” it for him. The episode ends with the neighbors looking at the box. The husband tells the wife not to touch it because he’s afraid it might be a bomb or something.
Okay, it’s 12:30 AM. Although I keep telling myself I’ll stay up all night if I have to, and although I did do that a few times recently, I don’t really want my wake and sleep times getting shifted. I get depressed if I’m waking up at 2 or 3 in the afternoon because I stayed up till 5 or 6 in the morning. Besides, I’m burned out. So, I’m calling it a night.
I did get work into both projects. Got another five pages into the short story. The short story is now 16 pages and 3,323 words. I’ve been good about getting five pages into a short story. Been pulling it off almost daily.
The novel. Again, I didn’t get what I aimed for, but I got in a few more pages. So, I’m on page 67 in the novel now and the total wordcount is 13,923.
My brain feels like mush. I’m just going to watch a movie, and then go to bed.
Buddy, the cat, was taking Luci’s bed a lot. Luci would often have to lie on the floor or the couch in the other room. I decided to order a second dog bed, so Buddy and Luci can both have a bed in the office where I spend most of my time.
The new dog bed arrived yesterday and it’s smaller than I expected. It’s actually too small for Luci. It’s probably too small for Buddy too, who is roughly the same size as Luci. But Luci doesn’t seem to mind. She spent most of yesterday in the new bed and it looks like she’s going to do the same today.
Since I got the five pages into the short story, I’m working on the novel now. Just watched this video for research. Russia is one of the settings in this series.
I’m still not comfortable giving out the titles of the books or the series, but Book One is still under consideration at one of the big publishing companies. It might be a long time before I hear anything.
I’m 63 pages and 13,020 words into Book Two right now. I want to get to page 71 before I call it a night, but don’t know if I’ll make it.
Do not start the Netflix original series “Santa Clarita Diet”, which stars Drew Barrymore and Timothy Olyphant. I repeat, do not start this series. It is highly addictive and you will be hooked.
Santa Clarita Diet is outrageously hilarious gore. You will laugh and you will be shocked. Once you start this series, you will be unable to get away from it. You will watch one episode after another.
You have been warned.
During most of the game, I was thinking the title of this blog entry would be “Not Every Bowl Can Be A Brady Bowl”, but things got turned around in the fourth quarter.
I spent the day at mom and dad’s. We had a lot of food, chicken wings and ribs off the smoker, plus a bunch of other stuff to munch on while we watched the game.
I admit, I considered rooting for the Falcons, but in the end I decided to root for Patriots again. First, because I’d always considered the Pats to be one of my backup teams. Second, because Tom Brady was Michigan’s quarterback back in the day. So, I decided I’d stick with the Patriots.
I know about the controversy surrounding the Patriots last Super Bowl victory, but, eh, I decided that I didn’t care.
I would have been perfectly fine if the Falcons won, though. The Falcons had a very good lead for most of the game. They were beating the hell out of the Patriots, sacking Brady and all that. But I guess Brady found his arm at some point during the fourth quarter and screwed it back in.
The Patriots scored a few times and the fourth quarter ended with a 28-28 tie. An overtime was added and the Patriots landed another touchdown. Game ended with the Patriots 34 and the Falcon 28.