The Rich Report

This morning the Fuhrer reported that he has spoken with Jerry Jones. The details of the conversation are not disclosed, but the owner of our nation’s finest football team, the Dallas Cowboys, has assured Dear Fuhrer that this nonsense will end. The players of the Dallas Cowboys will stand for our country.

This is rejoicing news for the true patriots of our great nation. We urge you to stand with the Cowboys and cheer for them as they carry on our national pride. The Fuhrer has spoken highly of Jones and proclaimed that he is a winner.

All must be made aware that unpatriotic behavior will not be tolerated. You are free to express yourselves, but only within the grounds that our administration has constructed. If you are not with us, then you are against us.

Heil Trump!