A Fearless Heart, by Thupten Jinpa, PhD

My friend Kathy recommended this book. A Fearless Heart was written by Thupten Jinpa, a former monk and the current principal English translator for the Dalai Lama.

When I finished the book, my thoughts were in a jumble and I had to take some time before starting my review. I really appreciated how at the end Jinpa wrote, “It is my sincere hope that some of the reflections and suggestions offered in this book may help you and others like you….” That told me that Jinpa would understand if I’m struggling to come to terms with some of the  things he wrote about. That sentence made it clear that Jinpa is not a know-it-all claiming that his way is the only way. He is sincerely trying to help people like me to have happier lives.

It’s no secret that I don’t feel at peace much of the time. I think I do an all right job of being compassionate toward others, but I fail in that department often enough. I’m terrible at being compassionate toward myself. I’m often angry with myself. I call myself a number of awful things every day.

A Fearless Heart is about compassion, mostly. Compassion for others and compassion for yourself. Be more understanding and patient to others, even when their views are very different from your own, and be more accepting of yourself.

A lot of what Jinpa wrote made sense to me. I highlighted several passages and put in notes telling myself to “remember this”. I might look through the book from time to time and find those highlighted passages that made the most sense to me.

I admit that I’m a little overwhelmed and frustrated by this book. I would love to be a more compassionate person, to others and to myself. I agree that being more compassionate can make me a happier person. But I fear I’m already so far gone that there is no hope for me.

I’ll just have to do my best.

Musing while eating donut holes

These are pretty good.

Glazed sour cream? Reminds me of a potato chip flavor that I really like.

Why do they call these donut holes? They’re little balls. Why aren’t they called donut balls?

I suppose they’re the parts that were gouged out of the centers of donuts. Someone got an idea to roll them into balls and bake them. Waste not.

So, as I eat another donut hole, I’m thinking about black holes, the ones in space. Were those gouged out too and made into little balls?

Maybe the universe is one big donut.

I think “donut” is short for “doughnut”, which, I guess, is what donuts used to be called.

I don’t have anymore donut holes.

 

Guess I’ll stew it up tonight

I got a few different things on my mind tonight, so I’ll just mix it all in.

Sometimes people I know seem to analyze me and draw conclusions about me and my life. I know they mean well, but it really irritates me when people do that. I usually respond with fury. But today it occurred to me that I don’t have to get so goddamn mad every time, that there are better ways to respond to things like that.

I’m thinking about the Claire Fisher response. In the first season of Six Feet Under, Claire is having problems dealing with her dad’s death and she’s going down a destructive path, or that’s what her family believes. In one episode, Nate tells Claire that they’re going to get her some help. Without missing a beat, Claire tells Nate, “If you want a project, get a dog.”

Yeah, I think that’s what I’ll start telling people. But don’t count on me being able to pull it off much. I’m, regretfully, prone just blowing up.

I’m pretty open about things that I struggle with. Confidence, anxiety, anger, and number of other things. I got problems. I know this. But what bugs me is when we’re not even talking about anything that I struggle with and out of the blue someone draws a conclusion about some disorder they think I might have or something they think I need to do to make my life happier.

That really gets under my skin. And often their conclusions are way off. When people do that, I feel like I’m being analyzed for a diagnose and it makes me want to hold back when sharing anything with anyone.

But today, while talking to a friend about it, and being angry at the same time, I started thinking that maybe I don’t have to be so mad. I’d like to respond more kindly when people piss me off.

Okay, that out of the way.

My mom’s oldest brother Bobby was visiting from Pennsylvania. I see Bobby once every ten or fifteen years. When I got to mom and dad’s yesterday and walked in the door. Bobby was sitting at the bar (or island?). It was like I was seeing Grandpa Piehl. Bobby looks exactly like Grandpa. And they both have the same name, Robert.

Aunt Barb and cousin Kari were there too. Also, Bobby’s wife, who is also named Barb. I guess you could say I had two Aunt Barbs there. Later, Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Cindy came. Haven’t seen Jimmy and Cindy in a few years, I guess. They came on a motorcycle. I remember when I was a little kid, Uncle Jimmy was the biker in the family. That was a long time ago. I don’t know when he started riding again, but that’s a really nice motorcycle he has.

As usual, I didn’t talk much. But I did enjoy listening to my mom, dad and Uncle Bobby playing acoustic guitars on the back deck. I think my mom and Bobby are the only ones in their very large family who play music.

I saw this questionnaire on Facebook. Thought I’d fill it out.

Prop …. Huh?
Children…. 0
Pets right now…. 2
Surgeries…. Five or six
Tattoos…. 2
Piercings…. 0
Shot a gun…. Yes
Quit a job…. No
Ever been on tv… Yes
Been to an island…. I don’t think so
Flown in a plane…. Yes
Furthest destination.. Florida
Hit by a car.. No
Someone cried over you…Yes
Fallen in love.. Yes
Watched someone die…Yes
Watched someone give birth … No
Rode in an ambulance…I’m not sure
Visited Las Vegas…. No
Been ice skating…If you want to call it that
Rode a horse….. Yes
Almost died….Yes
Been punched…. Yes
Stayed in a hospital…. Yes
Favourite fruit…Oranges, I think
Favourite desert…. Cheesecake
Favourite movie… The Bourne Identity

The Tigers beat the Rockies. 4-3. This dreadful season won’t last much longer. Let’s just see how many more games the Tigers can win this year.

Wish I had beer.

In the Garden of Beasts, by Erik Larson

My cousin Irene and I seem to have a common interest in World War II era history. Shortly after I posted my thoughts on William Russell’s Berlin Embassy, Irene recommended I check out Erik Larson‘s In the Garden of Beasts. I promptly added the title to my to-read list.

“In the Garden of Beasts” is set during William Dodd‘s time as ambassador in Nazi Germany. The Dodds went in a bit naïve, but in time they came to understand what Nazism meant for Germany and the rest of the world.

I can’t help wondering about the Jewish family that owned the house the Dodds were staying in. That Jewish family was eager to have Dodd there, because they felt Dodd’s presence kept them safe from the Nazis. I don’t think there was any note about whether that family survived or not.

“In the Garden of Beasts” has more information and details than “Berlin Embassy”. But “Berlin Embassy” was written by someone who was actually there and published shortly after he returned to the United States. While there’s not as much detail in Russell’s book as there is in Larson’s, I felt that Russell’s book confirms some of the things Larson wrote about.

Nazism needs to be stamped out whenever it shows its ugly head. Nazism is like cancer, it spreads until it’s caught and dealt with.

Disappointing

I watched the Patriot-Lions preseason game. The Lions had a nice comeback in the second half. The score was Lions 7 – Pats 24, but Lions caught up and got ahead. The new score was Lions 28 – Pats 24.

But the clock just wouldn’t run out fast enough. The Pats made it into field goal range twice in the fourth quarter and the kick was successful both times. So, the final score was Lions 28 – Pats 30.

The final preseason game is Thursday night against the Bills. The regular season starts September 10. Game 1 will be against the Cardinals.

After the Lions, I flipped over to FS-D and watched the last few innings of the Tigers-White Sox game.

The score was 2-2. It stayed 2-2 until the bottom of the 9th when the Sox got in a run and won the game.

One more week till College Football.

 

Not Everyone has Wisdom Teeth that need to be Pulled

Every now and again I’m asked about my wisdom teeth and whether I had them pulled out yet. It seems I should have had my wisdom teeth taken out a long time ago, because apparently everyone else has had theirs taken out long before they hit mid-life crisis.

When I tell people I still have my wisdom teeth, they are shocked. The next thing they want to know is, am I having any problems with my teeth? No, I’m not. My reply is always met with disbelief, like that just can’t be true. Everyone has to have their wisdom teeth taken out! That just the way it is!

Nope, that’s not true.

So annoyed was I with the notion that I need to have my wisdom teeth taken out, I decided to look into it. There’s a bit of information online about wisdom teeth. While wisdom teeth do eventually cause problems for most people, some people can go through life without ever being bothered by their wisdom teeth.

So, there you have it. I’m a caveman.

Pistols & Calibers

From left to right, the rounds are a .357 Magnum, .380 ACP, 9mm, .22lr, .40 S&W, .38 Special, 10mm and .22 WMR.

.22lr is the smallest and lowest priced. That’s why .22lr is good for target practice. But, believe it or not, this tiny caliber is good for defense too. I know, some people say a .22 isn’t going to do you any good in a life or death situation, but that’s bullshit.

As with any caliber, it really depends on shot placement. And in many cases, it doesn’t even depend on that. Your attacker would have to be special kind of nut to keep coming after you while you’re pointing a gun at him, no matter what caliber you’re using. But if he’s armed too, he might shoot back, and in that case you’ll want to put him out of action as quickly as you can.

It’s true that bigger calibers can hit the target with more impact, and the wider the projectile, the bigger the hole. But if a .22 is what you have, or prefer, it’ll do you just fine.

A nice thing about .22lr is there’s hardly any recoil. Though some pistols might not be as comfortable as others. A model I really like is the Ruger SR22. It’s comfortable in my hand and the white-dot sights are easy for me to see.

.380 ACP is about same length as .22lr, but it’s a wider bullet. .380 is about the same width as 9mm. I’ve fired .380 in a few different pistols. .380 is not a really powerful round, but one of the pistols I fired the caliber from acted like it was a .45 or something. That sucker would try to flip out of your hand when you pulled the trigger. You had to hold it extra tight.

Other .380 pistols I’ve used were comfortable and easy to handle. I like the Cobra Denali. It’s a cheap pistol, but I like how it handles. Another .380 model I like is the Glock 42.

I think Cobra may have gone out of business. I can’t find their website anymore. There’s a store page up, but that’s not the official business site they used to have. So, if you had to choose between a Cobra Denali and a Glock 42, go for the Glock. And there are a number of other makes and models that are just as good.

For any pistol and caliber, you’ll have people criticizing the make and model and telling you the caliber is worthless. They’ll tell you to buy something else. They’ll even hook their thumbs in their suspenders and boast about how much experience they have.

Don’t listen to those people. I’ve found time after time that I simply can’t trust critics. Often they’ve never even used the pistol they’re trying to steer you away from. And what doesn’t work for someone else, might work wonderfully for you.

If there’s a pistol or caliber you’re interested in, you’re the only one who can decide if it’s right for you.

Eclipse 2017

So, which is it? Some articles say this was the first total solar eclipse in the history of the United States and some articles say 1979 was last time a total solar eclipse was seen in the United States. Conflicting information. Doesn’t anyone know what they’re talking about anymore?

Anyway, my left eye feels a little not-all-there. My first accidental glance at the sun was when I was checking to see how well shaded my backyard is, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave my dog outside. Didn’t want her looking at the sun and going blind. I looked up at one of the trees and saw the sun shining through the branches. I looked away, but already there was a burnt shape in my vision.

Then, although I knew the sun could damage my phone’s camera, I decided to try what that meme on Facebook had suggested. Put your phone in selfie mode, stand with your back to the sun and watch the eclipse over your shoulder.

Oh, yeah! So genius!

I forgot how reflective my phone’s screen is in daylight. The sun zapped right into my eyes like a laser.

After that, I decided I wasn’t going to try to see this thing anymore. But then my dad sent me a text asking if I wanted to go over to his house and watch the eclipse through his welding mask. I did.

Don’t know if it was necessary, but we wore sun glasses behind the welding mask for additional protection. It really worked. We could see the black orb cutting deeper and deeper into the yellow orb. The day took on an eerie gloom.

When it was over, a flying saucer came out of the sky and hovered above us. A door opened and there stood a little green man. The green man gave us a thumb-up, and then the flying saucer flew away.

I kid you not.