Author: Rob Darnell

Misc

I posted this on Facebook after Grandma’s funeral in September, but now that I’m using my website again, I want it on my blog. The handwritten version of the song is in the purse she has with her. I think this song is the most important thing I’ve ever written.

It’s a chapter that will be hard to close.
Life won’t be the same as it was before.
Today we’ll bury a piece of our hearts,
But your touch will always linger.

We’ll have the memories,
And you’ll be with us in some sense.
But your laughter and your southern drawl
Will be something we’ll hear only in our hearts.

I will bear the weight of your casket,
My brother and I, and our cousins.
We’ll carry you from the hearse
To the place where Grandpa waits.

We’ll always have the memories,
And you’ll be with us in some sense.
But your laughter and your southern drawl
Will be something we’ll hear only in our hearts.

Misc

There’s been a lot of sticks and branches falling out of the trees and landing on my lawn. I have a barrel in the backyard for burning sticks and leaves, but some of the branches are too big for it. I could break them into smaller pieces, but I can’t fit a whole lot into the barrel at once and that means the process of burning yard waste is much slower than I would like.

For the last week or so, I’ve been thinking I ought to have a firepit. It would make the burning of yard waste easier. It would also be nice to have a fire once in a while, just to sit around and shoot the shit over beer.  When I first moved into this house, my mom had suggested a couple times that I make a firepit for the purpose of having people over and hanging out in the backyard at night. But I wasn’t for it at the time, partly because I didn’t feel like making a firepit and partly because I don’t have people over very often.

I’m still not likely to have people over much, but I think a firepit would be nice. However, if I’m going to make a firepit in my backyard, I want it to be something I like. I don’t want to just dig a little hole and surround it with rocks. What I want to do is build an outdoor fireplace in my backyard. Something a little more fancy than the usual hole-and-rock style firepits.

Yesterday, after playing around with a tape measure and making crude sketches, I figured out exactly what I want to do. I will dig a hole twelve inches deep and make it perfectly square, with thirty-two inches on all sides. I will also make the floor of the hole flat. So, twelve inches deep and thirty-two inches on all sides, and a flat floor. That’s the first step.

Next, I want there to be a wall of concrete blocks surrounding the hole. This is as much for safety as it is for looks. A concrete wall should reduce the chances of the grass catching on fire. The wall will be twelve inches high. So, the wall twelve inches high surrounding the hole twelve inches deep, that means the overall depth of the pit will be two feet.

I looked on HomeDepot.com. They’re selling concrete blocks sixteen inches long, eight inches wide and eight inches high for $0.98 each. These concrete blocks are perfect for what I have in mind and they cost a lot less than I was expecting. I’ll need ten of them. Two sides of the pit will have three of these concrete blocks. That will make the walls forty-eight inches long, which is sixteen inches too long. But then the other two sides of the pit will only have two concrete blocks each and everything will come together.

But the concrete wall will only have a height of eight inches and I want it to be twelve inches. I also don’t want there to be square holes in the top of the wall where spider webs will start appearing. Home Depot is selling these solid blocks that are sixteen inches long, eight inches wide and four inches high for $1.04 each. I’ll need ten of them, to place on top of the first layer of concrete blocks. The concrete wall will have a height of twelve inches and there will be no holes except for the firepit itself.

So, that’s what I want to do.

Misc

I’m sure some people are relieved to hear that. In particular, my gay friends, who probably feel much better knowing my ugliness won’t be chasing after them anytime soon. Yes, I’m very supportive of the gay rights movement. I feel strongly that they should have the same rights as everyone else. It’s because I believe in the Constitution, Human Rights and God. All three say pretty much the same thing when they’re talking about the human race. It all boils down to Live and let live.

Sometimes I make jokes that probably give people the impression that I’m gay. There was a time when I would be offended if someone thought I was gay. There was also a time when I was not a supporter of gay rights. I was, in fact, against gay rights and gay people. But over the years I’ve moved away from that way of thinking.

These days I don’t even mind if gay men find me attractive, and they’re welcome to say so too. My reply will probably be a simple thanks.

Misc

I don’t subscribe to the cynical belief. Kinda ironic, I think, because I often feel anger toward a lot of people. I have trouble forgiving, and man, I can hold a grudge. If someone treats me disrespectfully, I’ll never forget it. And there are people who I hate with passion. But even so , my faith in humanity has not diminished.

I believe the majority of people are good. And I don’t mean they’re good in order to make themselves look less evil, like a cynical person would believe. But rather they are good because that’s who they truly are. I don’t mean they’re saints, because even the best of people have their failings, and some very good people can do some very hideous things.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, the good comes before the bad in most people. They’re good, but they have their moments where they think bad thoughts or feel greedy or selfish, etc. But the good in them heavily outweighs the bad.

Sure, there’s people who have more bad than good in them, but that’s not the majority of humanity, not in my opinion. I really cannot see things from a cynical point of view. I find a cynical person’s way of thinking disturbing, and ridiculous. And it’s funny, because I’m often accused of being a negative person, but I think my way of thinking is less negative than a lot of people I know.

Misc

Yesterday my dad, my sister, my nephew, my neice and I had Chinese food. My mom had to work the night shift, so she wasn’t with us even though it was Mother’s Day. I love Chinese food, but I’m frustrated every time we get Chinese because I don’t know what most of that stuff is. I mean, I know it can have beef, chicken, shrimp or pork in it, but the titles that cover the meals that have those familiar pieces of meat in them, I don’t know what the titles mean.

Usually I’ll have someone else choose my meal for me, because whatever it is, I’ll eat it. I can’t think of any food I don’t like. If it’s cooked right, it’s good. Yesterday I just told my dad I wanted something with beef and rice. I always get the fried rice and an egg roll with my meal, but that’s as far as my knowledge of Chinese food goes.

Though I enjoy whatever it is I eat from the Chinese restaurant, there are some meals that I’d really like to have again, but I don’t know what they’re called. My favorite, which I can’t find because I don’t know what it is, is this stuff that I think is chicken. It’s incredibly tender, it feels nice in your mouth and it tastes sweet, and I guess, spicey too. I have to try describing this stuff, but no one seems to know what I’m talking about.  I might have to get something different from the Chinese restaurant every time until I figure out what everything is.

So, we ate, and then it was time to fulfill a tradition. No Chinese meal is complete without the fortune cookie. Now, I’m not a big believer of these things. Especially considering that my fortune teller is a factory worker, or machine, that puts those little pieces of paper into the cookies. But I usually keep my fortunes anyway, for luck, and because they kind of uplift me in a weird way. Or at least inspire me to be like it says on the paper. I await the day I get a fortune from a cookie that says, “Get your affairs in order, you’re going to die one year from today.” because that would be funny.

Yesterday, after breaking open my fortune cookie, I found that my fortune was ripped. All that was left was the ending of a sentence: “has been completely changed.” I don’t know if a ripped fortune is bad jo-jo or not, but it sure is mysterious. What has been completely changed? I’m guessing my life. If that’s the case, I hope it’s changed for the better and that I achieve great shiny success a short distance down the road.

Misc

*sigh*

Today I took it onto myself to remodel my website. All was going good, I liked how it was looking. And then, just when I was almost done, I did something that screwed everything up. I don’t know what I did wrong. Pretty much all I was doing was switching things around, but I wasn’t changing the codes much.

I went over everything several times trying to figure out where the error was. I could not find it. I tried a bunch of different things, but nothing would fix the problem. Finally I decided to wipe the site and start over from a scratch. I saved some of the blog entries, but I let other entries get deleted after deciding I didn’t need them.

After the wipe, I spent hours putting everything back together and reinstalling the plugins I use, and this and that.  And now I’m done.